The light at the end of the tunnel

After this post, what follows might seem a little "well, duh, what else did you expect?" but it startled me, nonetheless.  This has been happening to me a lot lately.  At the ripe ol' age of 28, I've been coming to terms with the fact that ten years ago, I did not walk across my graduation stage with my Senior class, but received notice of my graduation the next day.  (Ooo, that still kind of stings.  Stay in school, kids, and do your homework and turn it in.  You won't regret it.)  Half of my life ago, I was a Freshman.  I am closer to turning 40 than I am to having been a Freshman.  I graduated from massage school six years, one week ago.  The crease between my lips and the apple of my cheeks is becoming my noticeable when my face is at rest.  I'm becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I don't feel that different than I did at eighteen, just with the experience (or lack thereof in some cases) of the intervening years.

And now, at long last, I'm accomplishing some of my goals.  I'm finally getting this business thing down after three or four failed attempts.  In two weeks, the final Giant Bill of Doom will be paid.  This Saturday, I'll have students.

Students.  I'll be a teacher.  People will look to me for information.  It's a whole other ball game from teaching in church, let me tell you, where most people have a knowledge base on which to expand.  There's still certification ahead of me, yes, but I'll be educating people.  I'll be fulfilling a goal six-plus years in the making.

Now what?

Pregnancy massage.  Infant massage.  I'll have the chance to succeed and live the life I've dreamed of for years.  No more massive goals and desires and plans arching over my head.  It's as if July is looming, rushing toward me with tremendous speed and brilliant light.  This is the leaping off point.  This is where my running start ends and the work of flight begins.  Yes, there's still doula work waiting in the wings (no pun intended), but I have this profound sense that everything is about to change, that I have only empty, open, blue sky before me, a great expanse of opportunity.

Awesome. :D